Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.

But I've never been to the moon! Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love! And from now on you're all named Bender Jr. There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors!

For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your 'first' wife was the one who liked lilacs! Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?

I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! Ask her how her day was. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?

1. Can we have Bender Burgers again?
2. Kids don't turn rotten just from 
3. watching TV.
4. Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?

Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.

Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. That's the ONLY thing about being a slave. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

• Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
• Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
• Bender, quit destroying the universe!

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… Daddy Bender, we're hungry.

Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.

Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? No argument here. Oh, I think we should just stay friends. No argument here. Bite my shiny metal ass. Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.

Daddy Bender, we're hungry. Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?

Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff! I love you, buddy!

But I've never been to the moon! That's right, baby. I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.

Really?! You know, I was God once. How much did you make me? Take me to your leader! It doesn't look so shiny to me.

You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? But existing is basically all I do! It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.

OK, if everyone's finished being stupid. Morbo can't understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat. Who are those horrible orange men? I don't want to be rescued.

Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

No. We're on the top. Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon. No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!